{"id":2419,"date":"2012-03-26T08:33:28","date_gmt":"2012-03-26T12:33:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gadflyonline.com\/wpblog\/?p=2419"},"modified":"2012-07-15T20:11:05","modified_gmt":"2012-07-16T00:11:05","slug":"mister-misdemeanor-and-other-poems-by-ivan-jenson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/mister-misdemeanor-and-other-poems-by-ivan-jenson\/","title":{"rendered":"Mister Misdemeanor and Other Poems by Ivan Jenson"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Mister Misdemeanor<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh, man that guy
\nwas such a girl
\nwhen he cried
\nlike a baby and
\nthen he grew
\nup to be
\na bigheaded
\nsmall minded
\ntight-lipped
\ntight-wad
\nand a two-timing
\nrepeat offender
\negg white beater
\nand a
\nfour seater
\nDad’s car stealer
\nand Diet Coke dealer
\nand then he attempted
\na terrible string of rhymes
\n“love, dove, glove
\nand the sky above”
\nwhich is a crime
\nin certain
\nliterary circles
\nand
\nit got him
\na very hard time<\/p>\n

A Dubious Miracle<\/strong><\/p>\n

I blame you for
\nthe circles around
\nmy eyes and the
\nholes in my theories
\nas well as the rip
\nin my plans
\nyou have altered
\nmy waistline
\nand many times
\ncrossed my
\nboundary lines
\nand you broke
\nmy favorite heart
\nand split my
\ndecisions
\nand you
\ncaused me
\nto change
\nmy shirt
\nand my direction
\nand to
\nskip dinner
\nand lose sleep
\nall because
\nof your cry
\nin the darkness
\nof new life
\nmy cupid-sized
\nculprit
\nin a crib<\/p>\n

Udder Truth<\/strong><\/p>\n

We feed into the frenzy
\nof the herd mentality
\nwhen we are kids
\nand our friendships
\ngraze on the \u201chey\u201d Joe casualness
\nof our company
\nand then we slaughter
\nour bonds over petty
\npatty-sized disagreements
\nand then we chew
\nthe cud of estrangement
\nand we \u201cmoo\u201d
\nas we get milked
\nby the hands of fate
\non the pasteurized pasture
\nof past and future
\nand we all have
\nan expiration date
\nand on our
\ncarton is
\na picture of
\nthe missing
\ncalf-child
\nwe once were
\neye\u2019s vacant
\nin the frigid white coffin
\nof the fridge<\/p>\n

Whatever, Whenever<\/strong><\/p>\n

Was I\u00a0brought up
\njust to be brought down?
\ndid I go into this world
\nonly to ultimately retreat
\ninto my own head?
\nwhere I think about
\nthe people
\non the small set
\nof this three-act play
\n(childhood, middle, and
\nold age)
\nthat ends in
\nblinds, shades
\nand curtains
\nwhen I will
\nbe born back
\nto where I came from
\nsome womb, room,
\ntomb, and some
\nwill say I was
\ntaken too soon
\nand others
\nwill say
\nwho cares
\nhe is not anyone
\nanymore, anyhow<\/p>\n

Occupy Myself<\/strong><\/p>\n

I just stood there
\nor sat there
\nor lay there
\nas life had
\nits way with me
\nand now
\nI feel used
\nabused
\nand I want to
\nrun to a priest
\nor the police
\nand tell on
\npompous
\ncircumstance
\nand I will say
\nlike Tricky Dick
\nthat you won\u2019t
\nalways have me
\nto kick around
\nbecause now if reality
\nviolates my humanity
\nI will not hesitate
\nto whip out
\nmy taser
\nor pepper spray
\nthe sucker<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

Ivan Jenson\u2019s Absolut Jenson painting was featured in Art News, Art in America, and Interview magazine. His art has sold at Christie\u2019s, New York. His poems have appeared in\u00a0Word Riot<\/em>,\u00a0Zygote in my Coffee<\/em>,\u00a0Camroc Press Review<\/em>,\u00a0Haggard and Halo<\/em>,\u00a0Poetry Super Highway<\/em>,\u00a0Mad Swirl<\/em>,\u00a0Alternative Reel Poets Corner<\/em>,\u00a0Underground Voices Magazine<\/em>,\u00a0Blazevox<\/em>, and many other magazines, online and in print. Jenson is also a Contributing Editor for Commonline magazine. Ivan Jenson’s debut novel\u00a0Dead Artist\u00a0is now available as a paperback and on Amazon Kindle and Nook. His next novel a psychological thriller entitled\u00a0Seeing Soriah<\/em>\u00a0is due to be published this year by Hen House Press New York.\u00a0More of his work can be found here. (www.ivanjensonartist.com)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mister Misdemeanor Oh, man that guy was such a girl when he cried like a baby and then he grew up to be a bigheaded small minded tight-lipped tight-wad and a two-timing repeat offender egg white beater and a four seater Dad’s car stealer and Diet Coke dealer and then he attempted a terrible string […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,223,219,199,220],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2419"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2419"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2419\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3195,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2419\/revisions\/3195"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2419"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2419"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}