{"id":2565,"date":"2012-05-21T08:41:52","date_gmt":"2012-05-21T12:41:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gadflyonline.com\/wpblog\/?p=2565"},"modified":"2012-07-30T15:26:41","modified_gmt":"2012-07-30T19:26:41","slug":"running-from-myself-by-brian-webb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/running-from-myself-by-brian-webb\/","title":{"rendered":"Running from Myself and Other Poems"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Running from Myself<\/strong><\/p>\n

Am I just this week\u2019s kill?
\nCause it seems like you\u2019re leading me up a hill
\nYeah, it\u2019s an uphill struggle
\nBut I feel like there\u2019s a pit at the end
\nYou know, I feel like you\u2019re just waiting for me to get to the top
\nSo you can push me in
\nAnd I\u2019ll fall like I always do
\nYeah, I always fall for you
\nCause I can\u2019t seem to get enough
\nBut it always ends up being too much
\nYeah, I always end up realizing too late
\nToo late\u2026 That\u2019s when I realize I\u2019m falling.
\nFalling, like a leaf from a tree
\nBut they only fall when they\u2019re dead
\nAnd I guess I am, nearly
\nBut no, it\u2019d be better if I were dead
\nBecause dead people don\u2019t have all these feelings
\nI lock them away
\nAnd I store in a safe deep in my heart
\nWhat was never meant to be safe at all
\nHate isn\u2019t safe, neither\u2019s sorrow, nor scorn
\nBut I laugh at it all, cause I\u2019m torn
\nBetween self pity and hatred
\nBetween doubt and success
\nAnd lies and truths and I forget
\nThat I\u2019m just one person in crowd of the world
\nBut they\u2019re pushing in on me
\nAnd I\u2019m claustrophobic at best
\nBut I\u2019m a nightmare to behold when I\u2019m at my worst
\nAnd no one takes me then, so I lock that up too
\nDeep inside me, a monster brews
\nWhere not even I know what to do
\nAnd not even I ever knew\u2026
\nThought it was you who was leading me to the top of that hill
\nIt was you who I feared would push me in
\nBut it was I who walked willingly higher and higher
\nAnd it was I who walked off the edge
\nIt was I who turned my back, and locked me inside myself
\nNever to come back
\nNever were you my enemy
\nYou were only trying to save me
\nFrom myself, I ran
\nAnd into myself, I ran
\nI couldn\u2019t escape the hell inside of me
\nNor could I beat it
\nSo I joined it, I became it
\nNever to come back<\/p>\n

Time<\/strong><\/p>\n

Time, oh time doesn\u2019t fly
\nWhen you\u2019re stuck inside
\nThis dead heart of mine
\nIt ticks, and it passes away
\nSlowly, like the love that we shared
\nBut it goes on forever,
\nLike the love we wish we had<\/p>\n

But it grows, then it dies
\nLike a newly born fly
\nIt\u2019s there for a day
\nBut is gone by tomorrow
\nThis love has passed me by
\nLike a bird for the winter
\nAnd you left my heart all the colder<\/p>\n

As a bell tower looms under dark city skies
\nSo my soul lies dead inside
\nThe minute hand points to a future alone
\nThe seconds pass, searching for a home
\nAs the bell tolls, I long for a saviour
\nSeems time\u2019s just a measure of failure<\/p>\n

Like a dream turned a nightmare
\nBut I can\u2019t run away
\nFrom the cold sweat that envelops
\nIt haunts me asleep
\nBut I lie wide awake
\nIt goes on without end
\nLike the love we wish we never had<\/p>\n

You push me, timelessly
\nHigher and higher again
\nOnly to let me fall
\nWithout wings to catch my descent
\nBut I’ll find a way
\nTo rise above the clouds
\nWithout you weighing me down
\nI’ll mend these broken wings<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Running from Myself Am I just this week\u2019s kill? Cause it seems like you\u2019re leading me up a hill Yeah, it\u2019s an uphill struggle But I feel like there\u2019s a pit at the end You know, I feel like you\u2019re just waiting for me to get to the top So you can push me in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,219,199],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2565"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/39"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2565"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2565\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3623,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2565\/revisions\/3623"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}