{"id":5478,"date":"2013-04-19T11:00:47","date_gmt":"2013-04-19T15:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gadflyonline.com\/home\/?p=5478"},"modified":"2014-09-11T11:50:31","modified_gmt":"2014-09-11T15:50:31","slug":"welcome-back-to-tango-of-the-road-rage-drivers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/welcome-back-to-tango-of-the-road-rage-drivers\/","title":{"rendered":"Welcome Back to Tango of the Road Rage Drivers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/welcome-back-to-tango-of-the-road-rage-drivers\/road_rage_585x585\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-5498\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-5498\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gadflyonline.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Road_Rage_585x585.jpg\" alt=\"Road_Rage_585x585\" width=\"585\" height=\"585\" srcset=\"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Road_Rage_585x585.jpg 585w, http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Road_Rage_585x585-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Road_Rage_585x585-580x580.jpg 580w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 585px) 100vw, 585px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>It was a typical morning.\u00a0 Feed the cats.\u00a0 Walk the dogs.\u00a0 Change the litter boxes.\u00a0 Defrost my car.\u00a0 Take my pills.\u00a0 Make tea.\u00a0 Make lunch, and eat nasty cold cereal.\u00a0 Welcome to my middle-aged life.\u00a0 Jesus, am I really 35?<\/p>\n<p>The ride to work was interesting.\u00a0 There was a guy continuously trying to kiss my ass.\u00a0 Apparently, he failed to see the school bus up ahead that flashed its pretty, bright lights.\u00a0 Then, I traded him for a woman intent on her texting all the way into town by the traffic light.\u00a0 Lucky for me, she stopped just in time, and I was off to work.<\/p>\n<p>After picking up my coworker from the local supermarket, we raced away to Route 6.\u00a0 Route 6 with two silent 6\u2019s, but the morning commute wasn\u2019t terrible.\u00a0 It was quiet until I noticed the red car behind me swaying to the left and swaying to the right, and the dance went on right up to the Yield sign.\u00a0 Apparently, she didn\u2019t enjoy the fact that I came to a complete stop, checking out the passing traffic before turning right.<\/p>\n<p>Like a bat out of hell, she slammed on the gas, cutting around me and took up both lanes leading onto the Palisades Parkway.\u00a0 She tried to block me as I entered the right lane.\u00a0 Our cars graced the other, and my coworker started to panic.\u00a0 She reached for the wheel, but my hands were steady.\u00a0 My eyes fixed on the crazed bitch behind the wheel, and then finally, she moved her ass into the left lane and fired away.\u00a0 Welcome back to Tango of the Road Rage Drivers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It was a typical morning.  Feed the cats.  Walk the dogs.  Change the litter boxes.  Defrost my car.  Take my pills.  Make tea.  Make lunch, and eat nasty cold cereal.  Welcome to my middle-aged life.  Jesus, am I really 35?<\/p>\n<p>The ride to work was interesting.  There was a guy continuously trying to kiss my ass.  Apparently, he failed to see the school bus up ahead that flashed its pretty, bright lights.  Then, I traded him for a woman intent on her texting all the way into town by the traffic light.  Lucky for me, she stopped just in time, and I was off to work. READ MORE.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":52,"featured_media":5498,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,218,201,219],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5478"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/52"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5478"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7886,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5478\/revisions\/7886"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5498"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}