{"id":7370,"date":"2014-08-22T11:20:42","date_gmt":"2014-08-22T15:20:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gadflyonline.com\/home\/?p=7370"},"modified":"2014-09-03T18:37:26","modified_gmt":"2014-09-03T22:37:26","slug":"dont-forget-to-tip-your-cows","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/dont-forget-to-tip-your-cows\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Forget to Tip Your Cows"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Cows_585x585\"<\/a>I used to love eating cold cereal.\u00a0 I used to love Cocoa Krispies, Count Chocula, Trix, and especially Lucky Charms.\u00a0 Fiber was never a thought when I drowned my bowl in cereal and milk and dug in, enjoying the sugar rush.\u00a0 It was all so magically delicious until the ride in to school.<\/p>\n

Homeroom.\u00a0 I was either late, running to the bathroom or stuck behind a desk, clutching the small, wooden structure.\u00a0 Sometimes, after the bell rung, I would escape back into the bathroom, trying to relieve those harsh, stomach pains.\u00a0 Sometimes, it worked, and sometimes, I suffered through the day.\u00a0 Mostly, I suffered, and I never knew why until years later.<\/p>\n

Years later, I just gave up on cereal altogether.\u00a0 My breakfast would consist of bagels, doughnuts, muffins, and even cookies.\u00a0 I would try a glass of milk.\u00a0 Sometimes, it would agree with me, and sometimes, it didn\u2019t.\u00a0 But I was better prepared now, popping a Zantac in my mouth to relieve those stomach pains.\u00a0 Still, I wondered.\u00a0 Why did milk make me so sick?<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re lactose intolerant,\u201d the dietician said.<\/p>\n

It was 2012.\u00a0 It was the first time I met with a dietician in a hospital setting, recovering from heart surgery.\u00a0 Her mouth hung open as I explained my diet to her. \u00a0I would start with a bagel, muffin, or a bag of dry cereal.\u00a0 Lunch would consist of a yogurt or small sandwich.\u00a0 Dinner would be a meal with vegetables, and at the end of the night, more cookies.\u00a0 She shook her head and scolded me for such a poor diet, a diet that she intended on changing, and she did.<\/p>\n

2012 was the year, where I started drinking one percent milk.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t believe the difference.\u00a0 I could actually enjoy cold cereal again.\u00a0 I knew now why all those times I stayed at my grandparents\u2019 house in Seaford and had races with the hot cereal never made me sick.\u00a0 My grandparents used skim milk and cream, but I prefer the one percent.<\/p>\n

Despite this victory, something else was making me sick, cheese.\u00a0 I used to love grilled cheese, those Happy Waitress sandwiches with tomato soup, but no longer.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t matter what kind of cheese or how it was, my body rejected it.\u00a0 The stomach pains returned, and I surrendered.\u00a0 No more cottage cheese, sour cream, grilled cheese, and yogurt I have grown to despise. \u00a0But it\u2019s supposed to be good for your stomach, so every now and then, I try eating it for lunch.<\/p>\n

But I can\u2019t give up pizza.\u00a0 My brothers and I have pizza every Friday night.\u00a0 After dinner, they cough, but it dies down after awhile.\u00a0 Luckily, I don\u2019t cough.\u00a0 The cheese slides right down, and I look forward to next Friday night.\u00a0 If and when pizza starts to make me sick like other cheese, then I will take the Lactaid pill.\u00a0 In the meantime, I despise the thought of taking a pill just to enjoy food, and my diet is more healthy now than with sugar and marshmallows.\u00a0 So, don\u2019t forget to tip your cows because they might kick you in the rear later on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

Melissa R. Mendelson is a published short story author and a self-published poet, whose work has been featured in The Outreach for Breast Health Foundation’s Anthology: Beyond Memories, Names in a Jar: A Collection of Poetry by 100 Contemporary American Poets, and Espresso Fiction: A Collection of Flash Fiction for the Average Joe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I used to love eating cold cereal. I used to love Cocoa Krispies, Count Chocula, Trix, and especially Lucky Charms. Fiber was never a thought when I drowned my bowl in cereal and milk and dug in, enjoying the sugar rush. It was all so magically delicious until the ride in to school.<\/p>\n

Homeroom. I was either late, running to the bathroom or stuck behind a desk, clutching the small, wooden structure. Sometimes, after the bell rung, I would escape back into the bathroom, trying to relieve those harsh, stomach pains.<\/p>\n

READ MORE.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":52,"featured_media":7758,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,201,219],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7370"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/52"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7370"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7370\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7787,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7370\/revisions\/7787"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7758"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7370"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7370"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gadflyonline.com\/home\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7370"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}