Superman stole my jelly roll.
He took it right out of my lunch bag then sat next to me.
“Superman, that’s mine,” I said.
“Sorry, toots,” he said. He halved my jelly roll then pulled a pack of Decade Red out of his sleeve, lazer-visioned a cherry onto on of the cigarettes, and then he killed it in a single breath.
“You can’t smoke in the lunchroom, Superman.”
“One of your lunch broads gonna stop me?”
I wasn’t sure. He pinched his lips to the side and blew out a storm cloud.
“I want my jelly roll back,” I said.
“Hey,” he said. “Remember that time Johnny Pukowski pulled your ponytail then kicked you in the gut?”
“Yeah.”
“How’d that situation end?”
“You came and-”
“I swooped down and punted that motherfucker halfway to the moon. Didn’t I?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. They didn’t find the body for months. Now what did you give ol’ Supes for saving your sorry ass? Do you remember?”
I shook my head, but I knew.
“‘Gee, Superman,’ you said. ‘Thanks.’ I got a thanks. A big, expensive thanks. Did you send me a card for my birthday?”
“No.”
“A Christmas present?”
“No.”
“Easter basket?”
“No.”
“Thanks for the jelly roll.”
He stuck the rest of my jelly roll in his mouth, closed his eyes, and made an ‘mmm’ noise while he chewed and rubbed his stomach.
“My mom made that,” I told him.
“I know she did. I also know your pops works days, huh?”
I crossed my arms and pouted my bottom lip.
“I want my jelly roll.”
“Your jelly roll. You’re not worried about fair, huh?”
“It was mine. That’s what’s fair.”
“So I can take the bad away and its okey-fuckin-dokey, but I grab some good for myself and that’s just not fair. That’s how it goes, anyway. Guess you’re right.”
The way he looked at me, his top lip stretching up like a parade float, his eyebrows hanging down like his swollen chest muscles, I started crying. Of course I did, I was a child.
Superman grabbed my lunch bag, squeezed it between his swollen knuckles.
“Hush yourself, kid”
He took a deep breath and then lurched forward, ruffled his naked chin into the bag and burped, belched a wet belch.
I had my jelly roll back.
Adrian Fort is a writer from Kansas City, Missouri. He has a degree in English Literature from Missouri Western State University, a Masters degree from Lindenwood University and no real career. Follow him on twitter @adriananyway
