My Original Best Buddy

Image credit: Rachel Shannon

“Time went by and he got sicker. He stayed in the bed a lot more at that point. I remember every morning tip toeing into the bathroom for my shower trying not to wake him up, and every time I opened the door to come out he would roll over and say, “What are you doing pal?” He just loved me so much…there was not a sweeter man…

I lived with them consistently for 3 or 4 years and was in and out all the way up until 2013, and for a few weeks last year. At that point, he really wasn’t getting out of the bed that much at all anymore. I would wake up, no breakfast smells in the morning, grandmother just cooked it when it was obvious that he would actually get up and eat, and that could have possibly been late afternoon. I would get ready and walk into his room. I would pet him and he would wake up and grin. We would talk briefly about what I was going to do that day, I would ask him how he felt (which somehow was always great), I would tell him I love him, and then it was off about my day.”

READ MORE.

Missing Horror Movies of Days Long Ago

Image credit: Rachel Shannon

“I hate the Horror movies of today. The “Paranormal Activity”? Really? I did not need to be hopping out of my seat just for a scare. I want substance. I want another boogeyman. We need a new Freddy Kreuger, and I am not talking about remaking him. We need to stop with the remakes, because the remake of “Fright Night” sucked – literally. Someone, somewhere, needs to create a new monster to scare the ever-living crap out of us, and Chucky needs to be forced into retirement.”

READ MORE.

One-Liners, Sal, 65 Feet

Image credit: Rachel Shannon

“My Daddy believed in self-improvement, so he made me swim ten thousand miles. He believed that because we were genetically linked, he owned my strength.

Nurse Amy: Tiffany has escaped. Then she waited for a response.

Then he drove me home in his bright blue Rambler. He was wearing a white button-down sport shirt, black slacks, shiny black shoes, and was humming –

What could I say? I couldn’t reveal to her that I was in love with Tiffany, a serious infraction of Psychology’s ethics and absurd as hell, Tiffany being a chronic schzophrenic.”

READ MORE.

The Ant’s Parable

The Ant's Parable

It came to pass that the Fire Ants ran out of structures to build with their bodies once the World was razed by atomic fire. Being of such unparalleled wit and alone, they began to experiment with the limits of their bodies, now that survival was forever guaranteed. After adapting to the cold, which they did by burning their cyanide asses in their bellies, they were left to their own devices. They set out to expand across all the lands and thus mobility became the First Principle of their existence, but they could not yet understand this.

READ MORE.

Notorious Check-Ins

Notorious Check-Ins

One afternoon I was propped up at a bar sipping on a beer while over the music system came the voice of a young Leonard Cohen lamenting a time he spent in a somewhat infamous New York City hotel.

‘Great song,’ the barman remarked.

‘Not so great hotel,’ I harked back in a light tone.

‘Ah, I’m sure the Chelsea Hotel isn’t the worst of them,’ he retorted back with a blindingly ironic smile.

READ MORE.

Get to Know the Artist: Swanky Tiger

_MG_0081

This week’s featured artist is rock band, Swanky Tiger, composed of vocalist and guitarist Oliver Myles Mashburn, rhythmist and lead guitarist, Will Rockefeller, bassist, guitarist, and keyboardist Michael Glendening, and drummer and percussionist Connor Crawford. During a time when other boys were fawning over girls, most of Swanky Tiger were fawning over Led Zeppelin and other classic rockers—not out of choice but out of necessity according to Glendeming. Now removed from high school, Glendeming and the rest of Swanky Tiger are promoting a new album, Empires, and Glendeming is even putting to use what he has learned in high school by giving us a short neurobiology lesson in our interview with him. Continue reading to see what Glendeming has to say about the brain, the band’s name, and more.

READ MORE.

My First Day Teaching

Teacher_585x585

5:40. I get up. One of my housemates is already hogging the only bathroom. Cheap cigarette smoke blankets the air. I am going to choke.

6:40. Just learned that I have to make a paper star to give out to my “star pupil of the week.” Since I haven’t even started teaching yet, I’m not sure what to do. If I draw a blue star with stripes, little eyeballs, and a smiling mouth, that should make a fifth grader happy, right?

7:15. School assembly begins. Two little girls bring a large flag of Honduras to the center of the stage. Everyone else starts singing the national anthem.

READ MORE.