I just like imagining somebody choking to the tune of Jock Jams. Is there something wrong with that? If so, then this is a world in which I no longer want to exist in. If writing a story about this makes me insane, than I will choke you to death when I see you at the Insanity Olympics.
Little Billy, as his parents lovingly called him, although he was rapidly approaching the age of 18, was in his room listening to music on his headphones.
He listened with headphones for 2 important purposes:
1. His parents would nag him if the volume was too loud, and low volume music is not cool.
2. He was embarrassed by his favorite songs, which mostly consisted of Jock Jams.
This fine evening he was munching on a bag of potato chips while listening to GET READY FOR THIS.
One particular chip was a bit larger than average and it ended up getting lodged into the poor boy ‘s throat. He began choking. He tried screaming for help but could no longer talk. His heart immediately began racing at an accelerated pace at this jarring observation, knowing that this was an indication of an authentic choking.
All he could peep out was a slight whisper, and not even a whisper of words.
He ripped the headphones out of the stereo system, in an attempt to get the attention of his parents working one floor below, knowing it was his only chance before death due to lack of oxygen.
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Downstairs his parents were working on their taxes. Immediately prompted to a fit of rage, his father stormed up the stairs followed timidly by his plump wife.
“SON! WHAT IS THE NATURE OF THIS? ”
He pounded on the door.
He tried opening the door but it was locked. He kicked it down.
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He kicked down the door.
“SON!!!!” His father tragically exclaimed.
Wifey let out a scream of horror.
<< GET READY FOR THIS do do do do do do do HEY do do do do do do YEAH>>
Father ran to his son’s weak side and attempted to pat his back hoping to slap the chip out of him.
Mommy was yelling at her husband to do the proper CPR method of back slapping. But the music was too loud. He could not hear.
She began screaming in her husband’s ear and he pushed her away. He continued the back slapping. She tried prodding her husband away from the now unconscious son that they created during a night of passion 17 years prior. She tried grabbing the son’s body away from her husband knowing she knew the proper way to bring life back to the boy she originally gave life to.
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The father kept on the backslapping while mommy frantically tried to struggle him away and actually lie the boy onto his back so that she could do the typical CPR method on him. This chaotic episode continued on like this while the epic Jock Jams song played on repeat for 14 minutes.
Tragically, Billy’s life was not savable, but on the brightside, his favorite song was playing throughout his death. Something only some of us will ever get to experience.