The Departure Artist by Ali Nazifpour

I watched her as she packed. She was constantly on the move; packing and unpacking was an art to her. Her hands moved swiftly and confidently as she arranged her books in her black simple suitcase; the way they moved was final and absolute.

She was off to somewhere else again – I have forgotten where. She had already moved twice this week.

“When will I see you?” I asked her again.

“Friday night. I’m here for the weekend.”

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TV Blues and Other Poems

Life is hard with twenty shows to watch.

You can’t keep up when things get rough.

Forever on your guard, a writer might botch

favourite characters, write them weak instead of tough,

or ruin a scene that’s meant to be tender

between two characters that truly love each other

and make it violent because selling out the gender

is more important than love between brother and sister.

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Mickey’s Big Rumble

A gangland adventure utilizing the title of every movie I went to between the years 1999 and 2001, in roughly the order that I saw them.

Mickey Blue Eyes and his gang, the Cockney Crooners, had already eliminated the Fight Club, The Crew and the Wings of Desire, three of the biggest mobs in Brooklyn. If they won their rumble with the Kings of Comedy, they’d rule the borough.

As Mickey was leaving his apartment to stock up on bandanas and brass knuckles, his girlfriend Lola came around the corner. A Cadillac pulled up beside her, and Mickey shouted, “Run Lola Run!”

It was too late. A couple Kings in jester caps jumped out and threw Lola in the trunk.

“Just some insurance to make sure you show tomorrow,” said The Messenger.

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Tenets Are One Thing, Class Requirements Quite the Other

The problems you are all creating from misunderstanding the few lessons you’ve learned about Daoism, have become so great that I decided it best to address them collectively, here, on the class blog. As all of your daily comments on the blog have been so completely off base – and, frankly, in some cases, idiotic – I find myself forced to temporarily suspend your comment privileges.

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TV Blues, Zeitgest, and Life

Life is hard with twenty shows to watch.
You can’t keep up when things get rough.
Forever on your guard, a writer might botch
favourite characters, write them weak instead of tough,
or ruin a scene that’s meant to be tender
between two characters that truly love each other
and make it violent because selling out the gender
is more important than love between brother and sister.

READ MORE.

Mickey’s Big Rumble

A gangland adventure utilizing the title of every movie I went to between the years 1999 and 2001 in roughly the order that I saw them.

Mickey Blue Eyes and his gang, the Cockney Crooners, had already eliminated the Fight Club, The Crew and the Wings of Desire, three of the biggest mobs in Brooklyn. If they won their rumble with the Kings of Comedy, they’d rule the borough.

As Mickey was leaving his apartment to stock up on bandanas and brass knuckles, his girlfriend Lola came around the corner. A Cadillac pulled up beside her, and Mickey shouted, “Run Lola Run!”

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My First Day Teaching

5:40. I get up. One of my housemates is already hogging the only bathroom. Cheap cigarette smoke blankets the air. I am going to choke.

6:40. Just learned that I have to make a paper star to give out to my “star pupil of the week.” Since I haven’t even started teaching yet, I’m not sure what to do. If I draw a blue star with stripes, little eyeballs, and a smiling mouth, that should make a fifth grader happy, right?

7:15. School assembly begins. Two little girls bring a large flag of Honduras to the center of the stage. Everyone else starts singing the national anthem.

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Hire Steve

Steven Miller asked me to write this letter recommending him as a middle school English teacher, so here it is. I have known Steve since high school. We sat next to each other in Jim Freeman’s European History class and I made wise cracks and Steve laughed at them. Steve had an enormous head and looked a lot like Dave Letterman to me. Others disputed the resemblance, but they disputed nearly everything. They had what you might call a perverse contrarian streak. Of course, this is a matter you will be able to judge at the interview, provided you know who David Letterman is.

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